Narcissist’s Divorce Playbook & Strategic Responses

How a narcissist responds to divorce? How Does A Narcissist Deal with Divorce and React to It? Narcissist’s Divorce Playbook & Strategic Responses.

Miles Mason, Sr. company on the brand new podcast by Amy Helms, Hope After Narcissistic Abuse, Jan. 11, 2023.  Mason’s podcast episode hyperlink: Financial Abuse During Divorce. Podcast platforms embrace AppleSpotify, Google, and others.

Amy Helms:

There’s no logic when coping with an abusive particular person or a narcissist. It doesn’t make sense as a result of there is no such thing as a logic.

Miles Mason:

In a bizarre method, it turns into a optimistic, a internet optimistic for that reason. A number of narcissists in divorce work from the identical playbook.

Amy Helms:

They do. It’s like a bobblehead. They play their recreation, and they also’re predictable.

Miles Mason:

To some extent, they’re. It relies upon. I used to be getting ready mentally for this interview, and one of many issues that I might inform you will not be each … And once more, to be clear, we’re not utilizing a scientific definition right here. We’re discussing what widespread on a regular basis vernacular considers narcissistic habits. So many narcissists aren’t that strategic of their considering. They’ve a couple of core ideas that they’re engaged on. For instance, “I need to look good to everyone in my workplace and in society.” However plenty of occasions they slip in entrance of their partner and their children. They get indignant, they get impatient, that kind of factor. A real, true, true narcissist wouldn’t even lose their body, if you’ll, in entrance of their partner or their kids. They’re going to keep up it for everybody. Effectively, that takes an incredible quantity of self-discipline and an incredible quantity of strategic positioning and thought. And if any individual’s that good, their partner gained’t even realize it.

And then you definately’ve obtained the opposite figuring out trait of, certain, they’ve been controlling, manipulative, gaslighting, all the same old narcissistic provide instruments. However plenty of those self same instruments, traits, techniques, have helped that particular person be tremendously profitable. As a result of one of many issues that entrepreneurs and different businessmen are taught is how one can get rid of that which doesn’t matter out of your thoughts. And in the event you’re extremely disciplined, what different folks take into consideration you isn’t terribly vital. However to a narcissist, it’s. So, there’s a bit of little bit of a battle there while you’re coping with narcissists.

And so, I warning myself from attempting to say, “Oh, properly he’s a narcissist. We’re going to do A, B, and C.” What makes it attention-grabbing is we’re not going to have a pre-programmed recreation plan. We’re going to attend and see what the narcissist does after which react, which drives a few of our purchasers loopy. Effectively, what are we going to do? We’re going to be affected person. We’re going to see what techniques are used and reply to them, and I’ll coach you thru it. And I say, “Effectively, are you able to give me an instance?” Okay. I’ll offer you an instance. If she or he decides to not give us paperwork we want, properly, you and I are going to take a seat down, we’re going to craft a method, and we’re probably going to finish up going to the choose with this very particular punch record of paperwork we want. And the way in which you promote that to a choose could be very easy.

If I get a draft of settlement, I must know once I’m settling. And most judges say, “Effectively, Mason, you possibly can have your paperwork.” They usually take a look at the opposite lawyer and say, “How lengthy is it going to take you to supply them?” “Effectively, we’ll get a courtroom order.” Effectively, does a narcissist observe the courtroom order? Possibly not. If not, then we’ve obtained to go get one other one, after which one other one, after which one other one. And so, what occurs is the narcissist is testing not their partner, however their opposing counsel at that time. Are you able to be affected person? Are you able to do what is critical to get the job carried out? And that degree of success could be very attention-grabbing, as a result of it’s potential to work relying on the lawyer and the way busy they’re and how much assets they’ve behind them, particularly administrative and paralegal assist. In order that’s an instance of the way it performs out. However I can inform you from virtually 30 years of coping with narcissistic spouses that, whereas the techniques seem related and are comparatively finite and predictable, which of them are used wherein order are virtually at all times distinctive.

For extra, see Miles Mason’s The Full Information to Divorcing a Narcissist, a seven half video collection.

Study extra about Amy Helms, her remedy follow, and her podcast right here.